Posts Tagged With: Marcia Brady

Bonus Brady! The Brady Girls Get Married!

“The Brady Girls Get Married,” 1981 TV Movie

Oh. My. God. Last night was a much-needed evening of R & R after a long week. The husband had the remote, and I’m zoning out, and suddenly, he rests on this movie. Killer. Naturally, I hit record on the DVR and forced the 8-year-old to watch. Actually, he just sort of gravitated to it.

Jan and her boyfriend Phillip, who has Asperger’s Syndrome (and I mean that affectionately), finally get engaged after what is described as a long courtship. Mike and Carol, however, are hesitant to give their blessing because Marcia is 3 years older than Jan and she should get married first, even though she doesn’t have a boyfriend and seems pretty happy being a single gal in the city. Jan becomes moody (no way!), and Marcia expresses her concern about the situation to a strange afro-ed white man with a really cheesy mustache who sits next to her in a cafeteria. And just like that, Marcia and the stranger – whose name is Wally (as in, “Don’t be sorry, just be Wally,” which is still to come) fall in love and get engaged. Problem solved! Jan can get married now! And lucky Jan gets to share her wedding with Marcia! Surprisingly, Jan seems to have no problem with this, but of course, there are problems with the theme of the wedding. Jan and Phil – I mean Phillip – want a boring, stuffy wedding, and Marcia and Wally want a hip wedding with sandals. They all fight, Alice comes to town and does a bunch of work and cries, and then they cancel because they can’t agree on a theme. But then Marcia arranges for the two couples to meet and drink cheap wine at Phil’s – I mean Phillip’s – favorite stuffy restaurant and they agree to have a cross-cultural event. Since Peter cannot get leave any time but that very weekend, they even push the wedding up. Despite a sudden rainstorm and a destroyed cake, the wedding goes off without a hitch in the Brady living room, and then Carol sings broadway style. Then, the two couples buy a house together and as my son describes, “put tape all over it and then took it down.” I guess they were hoping to make this a madcap series, complete with unusual living arrangements, unconventional sexual innuendo, communicative misunderstandings, and a nosey neighbor, but Three’s Company threatened to sue, so they had to call it off. 

My son’s initial reaction – “Why didn’t Jan wear her glasses?”

Revelations of mine:

  • I couldn’t help but think of The Love Boat as I watched this, since most of the cast had been on the boat by then and this is what they looked like. I’d kill to see Carol sitting in Captain Stubing’s lap while she sang just one more time.
  • Cindy’s hairstyle hadn’t changed at all. The poor girl had some horrible bangs trauma.
  • Greg, a 25-ish-year old gynecologist?
  • Poor Peter, even a loser in the military.
  • Gawd did Bobby get ugly or what? And the short-shorts he was wearing did not do him any favors.
  • They took some liberties with everyone’s ages here. Since when is Marcia three years older than Jan? And if Jan’s out of college and starting her career as an architect, then this makes her about 22. Cindy is a freshman in college, so she’s 18, and there’s no way those girls were 4 years apart. Could it be that Cindy had to repeat a couple of years? Can a lisp hold you back that much?
  • I would have loved to have seen Tiger reappear in this one.
  • Nice to see that Mike and Carol have not yet remodeled the kitchen!
  • Marcia and Jan got to move the horse statue into their new home. If I was Cindy I’d pitch a real fit about that.
  • Mike offering the grooms “marital advice.” Creepy.

Most humiliating moment for Alice: Recalling her wedding night, during which Sam bowled a 286.

Next Viewing: It’s Bobby’s turn in the spotlight, so “The Drummer Boy,” of course.

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The Subject was Noses

“The Subject was Noses.” Season 4, Episode 18

Doug “Big Man on Campus” Simpson asks Marcia to the dance on Saturday, but then she remembers that she already has a date for Saturday night with a ginger boy (and wallpaper store heir) named Charley. She consults with Greg, asking him how he breaks his dates, and Greg advises her to use the line, “something suddenly came up.” Then they share an evil laugh regarding their mutual meanness (this is a family blog so I choose my words carefully). Marcia cancels her plans with Charley, and then we all watch with glee as she gets hit in the face with a football. Her nose is a disaster, and Doug “Big Man on Campus” Simpson then cancels on Marcia, telling her, “something suddenly came up.” Marcia dreams that night about her accident, and we are treated to repeated viewings of her face being smashed. When she wakes up in the morning, her nose has healed, and the Big Man on Campus decides he can be seen with Marcia after all. Marcia, however, turns him down. She then confesses to Charley that she ditched him in favor of the Big Man on Campus, but that she will now make his year by allowing him to take her out on Saturday and spend his hard-earned wallpaper delivery money on her. Lucky Charley! He is so overcome by his good fortune that he ties his shoe to the bench he was sitting on. Meanwhile, Mike and Carol can’t agree on which wallpaper to use for their bedroom. Hilarity ensues.

My son made me proud when he cackled loudly every time they showed Marcia get hit in the face with the football. Also, he would have gone with the striped wallpaper, if forced to choose.

Revelations of mine:

  • As far as Brady Bunch episodes go, this is one of my favorite. Maybe it’s the slow-burning anger that has been residing inside of me lately, but I find the repetition of the football making contact with Marcia’s face cathartic. Whoever edited this episode was a genius and is quite possibly my spirit guide.
  • I could not help but think of the Brady Bunch Movie of the 90’s while watching this episode. The movie displayed the Brady’s in over-the-top fashion, but they prettymuch presented this incident verbatim. There really is no other way. The swollen nose was spectacular, and Marcia is even more narcissistic than I remember. It’s already over-the-top so there was nowhere to go.
  • My first re-viewing of a Brady bicycle repair! I am sure there are many more to come.
  • When Marcia told Charley, “You can take me out Saturday night,” I turned to my son and said, “don’t ever date a girl who treats you like that!” He gave me a disgusted look. He hates girls.
  • Doug “Big Man on Campus” Simpson was not cute. In fact, he was quite ugly. It wasn’t just the awful hair and clothes. He also looked to be about 40 years old. Sorry if you’re reading this, Doug, but you’re not attractive.

Most humiliating moment for Alice in this episode: having paint slapped across her face when she opened the door to Carol and Mike’s bedroom (They couldn’t decide on a wallpaper pattern so they went with paint instead, and made it a fun family event with all the kids paining. I cannot even imagine what would occur if we decided to do that in my house.)

Next Viewing: “The Personality Kid”

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