Posts Tagged With: Jan Brady

Bonus Brady! The Brady Girls Get Married!

“The Brady Girls Get Married,” 1981 TV Movie

Oh. My. God. Last night was a much-needed evening of R & R after a long week. The husband had the remote, and I’m zoning out, and suddenly, he rests on this movie. Killer. Naturally, I hit record on the DVR and forced the 8-year-old to watch. Actually, he just sort of gravitated to it.

Jan and her boyfriend Phillip, who has Asperger’s Syndrome (and I mean that affectionately), finally get engaged after what is described as a long courtship. Mike and Carol, however, are hesitant to give their blessing because Marcia is 3 years older than Jan and she should get married first, even though she doesn’t have a boyfriend and seems pretty happy being a single gal in the city. Jan becomes moody (no way!), and Marcia expresses her concern about the situation to a strange afro-ed white man with a really cheesy mustache who sits next to her in a cafeteria. And just like that, Marcia and the stranger – whose name is Wally (as in, “Don’t be sorry, just be Wally,” which is still to come) fall in love and get engaged. Problem solved! Jan can get married now! And lucky Jan gets to share her wedding with Marcia! Surprisingly, Jan seems to have no problem with this, but of course, there are problems with the theme of the wedding. Jan and Phil – I mean Phillip – want a boring, stuffy wedding, and Marcia and Wally want a hip wedding with sandals. They all fight, Alice comes to town and does a bunch of work and cries, and then they cancel because they can’t agree on a theme. But then Marcia arranges for the two couples to meet and drink cheap wine at Phil’s – I mean Phillip’s – favorite stuffy restaurant and they agree to have a cross-cultural event. Since Peter cannot get leave any time but that very weekend, they even push the wedding up. Despite a sudden rainstorm and a destroyed cake, the wedding goes off without a hitch in the Brady living room, and then Carol sings broadway style. Then, the two couples buy a house together and as my son describes, “put tape all over it and then took it down.” I guess they were hoping to make this a madcap series, complete with unusual living arrangements, unconventional sexual innuendo, communicative misunderstandings, and a nosey neighbor, but Three’s Company threatened to sue, so they had to call it off. 

My son’s initial reaction – “Why didn’t Jan wear her glasses?”

Revelations of mine:

  • I couldn’t help but think of The Love Boat as I watched this, since most of the cast had been on the boat by then and this is what they looked like. I’d kill to see Carol sitting in Captain Stubing’s lap while she sang just one more time.
  • Cindy’s hairstyle hadn’t changed at all. The poor girl had some horrible bangs trauma.
  • Greg, a 25-ish-year old gynecologist?
  • Poor Peter, even a loser in the military.
  • Gawd did Bobby get ugly or what? And the short-shorts he was wearing did not do him any favors.
  • They took some liberties with everyone’s ages here. Since when is Marcia three years older than Jan? And if Jan’s out of college and starting her career as an architect, then this makes her about 22. Cindy is a freshman in college, so she’s 18, and there’s no way those girls were 4 years apart. Could it be that Cindy had to repeat a couple of years? Can a lisp hold you back that much?
  • I would have loved to have seen Tiger reappear in this one.
  • Nice to see that Mike and Carol have not yet remodeled the kitchen!
  • Marcia and Jan got to move the horse statue into their new home. If I was Cindy I’d pitch a real fit about that.
  • Mike offering the grooms “marital advice.” Creepy.

Most humiliating moment for Alice: Recalling her wedding night, during which Sam bowled a 286.

Next Viewing: It’s Bobby’s turn in the spotlight, so “The Drummer Boy,” of course.

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The Not-So-Rose Colored Glasses

“The Not-So-Rose Colored Glasses.” Season 3, Episode 13

So now we’re on to Jan. Where does one even begin with Jan? It’s a gold mine of psycho, and I don’t even know where to start. Do I go with the wigged out Jan? Practical joker Jan? Imaginary boyfriend Jan? In the end, I went with Mrs. Magoo Jan and I’m glad I did. It’s laugh-out-loud funny.

At the beginning of the episode, we see Jan wobbling around aimlessly on her bike. Mike and Carol then receive a phone call from some man who apparently runs a local park? Or he hangs out there all day? Either way, it’s creepy. He tells the Brady parents that Jan has stolen a bike. This is a major deal to everyone, but seriously, I don’t know why. The bike was prettymuch identical to Jan’s bike – there was only a small dent to distinguish hers from another girl’s bike (and why didn’t the Brady boys fix that dent anyway?). Somehow, this is supposed to be evidence that Jan is having problems with her vision, though I don’t see why. Anyway, Mike and Carol then receive some more bad news about Jan – a note from her teacher that she is unfocused in class and her grades are slipping – they discover what the culprit for all these problems with Jan is: borderline personality disorder. No, actually, it’s her eyesight. Jan is horrified that she needs glasses, because she fears they will make her look goofy (nevermind the wig in a near future episode) and she is hot after some boy in her class. Prior to her glasses appointment, Mike takes the kids to a stoner photographer to have their picture taken as an anniversary surprise for Carol. Jan gets her glasses and she does all she can to avoid wearing them. She heads to the park because the guy she’s chasing is there, and she stashes her glasses. Upon her return home, she wobbles her bike right into the aforementioned family photo Mike was hiding up against a wall in the garage. She’s that blind. She could not see the wall in front of her. Greg helps her up, and, rather than alert his parents to Jan’s possible brain tumor, they inspect the photo and realize they need to redo their photo.

Jan comes up with the money to replace the photo without her father’s knowledge, which because of the scatterbrained photographer, requires the six kids to take another photograph, as he lost the negative. When Carol opens her gift on their anniversary, Mike sees Jan wearing her glasses in the photo, and realizes this is a retake. He grounds Jan from her bike, but finds out that’s a moot point when Jan reveals she sold her bike to pay for the retake. Aww.

After this episode, I asked my son, “So, how do you like The Brady Bunch?” His response? “It stinks.” But he watches it every time I put it on, so he can’t think it’s that bad.

Revelations of mine:

  • How do they ride those bikes with those short skirts and dresses on?
  • I would have loved for Jan to have had her own show after The Brady Bunch was cancelled. Something like “Jan in the City,” and she’s  crazy.
  • I laughed out loud every time she got on her bike and feigned blindness.
  • The photographer was typical of the insulting humor I remember this show providing me in my youth.
Categories: The Brady Bunch Project | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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