The Subject was Noses

“The Subject was Noses.” Season 4, Episode 18

Doug “Big Man on Campus” Simpson asks Marcia to the dance on Saturday, but then she remembers that she already has a date for Saturday night with a ginger boy (and wallpaper store heir) named Charley. She consults with Greg, asking him how he breaks his dates, and Greg advises her to use the line, “something suddenly came up.” Then they share an evil laugh regarding their mutual meanness (this is a family blog so I choose my words carefully). Marcia cancels her plans with Charley, and then we all watch with glee as she gets hit in the face with a football. Her nose is a disaster, and Doug “Big Man on Campus” Simpson then cancels on Marcia, telling her, “something suddenly came up.” Marcia dreams that night about her accident, and we are treated to repeated viewings of her face being smashed. When she wakes up in the morning, her nose has healed, and the Big Man on Campus decides he can be seen with Marcia after all. Marcia, however, turns him down. She then confesses to Charley that she ditched him in favor of the Big Man on Campus, but that she will now make his year by allowing him to take her out on Saturday and spend his hard-earned wallpaper delivery money on her. Lucky Charley! He is so overcome by his good fortune that he ties his shoe to the bench he was sitting on. Meanwhile, Mike and Carol can’t agree on which wallpaper to use for their bedroom. Hilarity ensues.

My son made me proud when he cackled loudly every time they showed Marcia get hit in the face with the football. Also, he would have gone with the striped wallpaper, if forced to choose.

Revelations of mine:

  • As far as Brady Bunch episodes go, this is one of my favorite. Maybe it’s the slow-burning anger that has been residing inside of me lately, but I find the repetition of the football making contact with Marcia’s face cathartic. Whoever edited this episode was a genius and is quite possibly my spirit guide.
  • I could not help but think of the Brady Bunch Movie of the 90’s while watching this episode. The movie displayed the Brady’s in over-the-top fashion, but they prettymuch presented this incident verbatim. There really is no other way. The swollen nose was spectacular, and Marcia is even more narcissistic than I remember. It’s already over-the-top so there was nowhere to go.
  • My first re-viewing of a Brady bicycle repair! I am sure there are many more to come.
  • When Marcia told Charley, “You can take me out Saturday night,” I turned to my son and said, “don’t ever date a girl who treats you like that!” He gave me a disgusted look. He hates girls.
  • Doug “Big Man on Campus” Simpson was not cute. In fact, he was quite ugly. It wasn’t just the awful hair and clothes. He also looked to be about 40 years old. Sorry if you’re reading this, Doug, but you’re not attractive.

Most humiliating moment for Alice in this episode: having paint slapped across her face when she opened the door to Carol and Mike’s bedroom (They couldn’t decide on a wallpaper pattern so they went with paint instead, and made it a fun family event with all the kids paining. I cannot even imagine what would occur if we decided to do that in my house.)

Next Viewing: “The Personality Kid”

Categories: The Brady Bunch Project | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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